Until today, I have been under the delusion that love is a feeling.
Now I am talking of real love, not the eros or philia-the kinds which I now know do not last and are both selfish; but the real selfless agape love as commanded to us by God. I have waited a long, long time for someone to love me, [the proverbial “right person”] and all I have gotten is the roller-coaster, short-lived eros, philia type that has left me more drained than fulfilled.
Love is an art, it can be learnt and the real love still loves even when there is nothing in return. (1 Cor. 13: 5).
People end marriages mbu “I just do not love her anymore”- men say. The Bible commands “Husbands, love your wives”; thus if you do not love her, you are disobeying God! Funny, I have never heard a woman say that she is ending her marriage because she does not submit her husband anymore- seeing that we women are commanded to submit ourselves to our husbands.
Love is action. It can be demonstrated. If I say “I love John Smith”, he would not know it lest I show it. I would need to do or not do(for that matter) certain things for him to “see” my love; but with this feeling-based love, how would one see these so-called feelings? Love should be action-based, not feeling-based. Do (act) first and the feelings will follow.
The God-commanded love, the Agape Love is the one and only solid basis for marriage. In marriage one loves, even when they will not be loved in return- selflessly. Of course I am no authority on marriage, but if my newly acquired knowledge on love is any qualification to go by, I can say now I know one of, if not the most important thing about marriage.
“Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don't use it you lose it. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return. Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.”
Remember love is not a feeling!
Have I finally realized the truth about love, how to have it, how to create it and how to sustain it? Maybe…
…and what is the point of having all this knowledge if I do not share it with the world. So here you go world!
